As before, I will post more of my translation of whichever story gets the most votes every Wednesday from now until it's finished. After that I'll make another poll. The next poll will include both stories that fail to win this one, as well as a new story. I'll be counting the votes next Monday morning.
(Texts after the cut.)
The Imperator Doesn't Sleep
By Strange
Translated from the Japanese by OtherSideofSky (http://othersideofskytranslations.blogspot.com/)
A small figure danced in the moonlit garden.
"Wow! Amazing!" A lisping voice cried out in pure
delight.
"Look at all the stars!"
There was a radiant smile on the young, excited face gazing
up at the sky.
The little girl stretched her tiny hands above her head and
jumped again and again, trying to catch dazzling stars. With each jump her
dress fluttered, and her hair — which was a brighter gold than the embroidery
that adorned her clothes — whirled.
"There are so many of them; it should be alright for me
to have one."
The girl's hand, reaching for the stars, clenched tight.
"Oh, honestly!" She complained, upon opening the
hand and seeing that there was nothing in it. "They're right there, so why
can't I grab them?"
Watching her innocent endeavor, I couldn't suppress a smile.
"Hey! You just laughed, didn't you?"
She spun around, her cheeks angrily puffed out.
The childish gesture reminded me that, however magnificent a
dress she wore and whatever gems or precious metals adorned her, she was still
a genuine little girl. The pure gleam in her large eyes made them almost miniature
starry skies in themselves. I couldn't help staring into them.
"What's that look for?"
The girl's cheeks puffed up still further. I was still
smiling, and that must have offended her. She put one hand on her hip, and pointed
sternly at me with the other.
"And here I went to all the trouble of bringing you
with me without father finding out!"
It was true. We'd slipped out of our rooms in secret from
both our fathers and come here, to the palace courtyard. We'd be sure to get a
good scolding if anyone caught us. Still, this starry sky was worth the risk.
"Next time, I won't bring you along!" The girl
humphed and turned away.
I sensed that it would be a bad idea to offend her any more
than I already had and hurriedly apologized. She kept her back to me at first,
but as I kept saying how sorry I was, she glanced in my direction, then finally
spun around.
"Very well. I forgive you!" She declared, and a
new smile bloomed on her face.
The girl's figure stood out under the light of the moon and
stars. She looked as beautiful as a painting. I became aware that my cheeks
were growing hot and hurriedly shook my head.
"What's the matter?"
She looked confused by my behavior.
"Nothing," I hastily blurted out. For some reason,
I felt embarrassed.
The girl stared at me for a little while with a baffled look
on her face. At last, she smiled again and started walking toward me.
I was confused. Her smile widened.
"Come on, don't just stand there forever; come here!"
Staring at her innocently outstretched hand, I...
· · · · · · ·
A ray of white broke the solid blackness that filled my
vision.
The light woke me and I let out a little groan. With the
light came the awareness of morning, and I slowly raised my eyelids. Still half-unconscious,
I blinked rapidly.
When I raised myself from the bed and looked around, the
familiar sight of my room met my eyes. It was lit by the sunlight filtering
through the curtains.
"Morning already..."
I felt like I'd been having a dream. A dream about a long
time ago. As I awoke, however, my memories of the dream faded. I could no
longer recall the details. All that remained in my breast was nostalgia and a
faint loneliness. It bothered me, but groaning about it wouldn't help me
remember.
I was still staring aimlessly around the room when a reserved
knock called my mind back to reality and my gaze to the door. A young woman's
voice came from the other side of it.
"Have you awakened, Master Rofus?"
"Yes. You can come in," I replied.
After a quick "Pardon me, sir," the knob turned,
and a woman entered the room. She was one of the maids in service to my family.
I knew her by sight.
Upon seeing me, she curtsied, then briskly approached the
window and drew back the curtains. I narrowed my eyes against the inrush of
sunlight.
"Your meal is ready, sir."
"Got it. I'll be there soon."
"Yes sir. Excuse me, sir."
At my answer, the maid made another curtsy, then left the
room. I heard the soft sound of the door shutting as I got out of bed.
Outside the window I could see an expanse of blue sky and
the townscape illumined by the morning sun. Beyond the roofs of the houses
towered the white-walled palace. My thoughts naturally turned to the girl who
lived there, and I let out a sigh.
I don't know when it had started, but I could no longer feel
genuinely happy about seeing her. We used to smile so innocently at each other,
without hesitation. I doubt the change in our positions was the only cause, but
I didn't know what I could, or should, do about it now. I didn't even know if I
wanted our relationship to go back to how it had been in the first place.
"An audience with Her Imperial Majesty, huh?"
I repeated my schedule for the day. Saying it felt like spitting
up something coiled in my chest, but that only made me more depressed. I
doubted I'd even be able to enjoy eating the breakfast that had been prepared
for me. My heavy heart formed a stark contrast with the clear morning air.
The crimson carpet muffled my footsteps. The sensation made
me feel vaguely uneasy as I walked down the long corridor.
This was the center of the imperial capital. The building,
surrounded by a moat and strong castle walls, stood on a hill and towered over
the city around it. It was the imperial castle, the very heart of the empire's
political and economic administration.
The previous imperator had spent a fortune to renovate the
palace, which boasted the greatest beauty of any building in the empire. It's
many white-walled and blue-roofed spires soared proudly into the sky, imperial
flags fluttering in the breeze at their tops. It's majestic appearance awed not
only travelers who saw it for the first time, but even the townspeople who saw
it every day. It almost seemed to be glaring down at the city; you sometimes
felt you were about to be crushed just looking at it.
When the former imperator repaired the aging palace, he had
levied a high tax, squeezing a huge amount of wealth from the people. And not
just in money; he had also imposed heavy labor on the citizens. More than a few
had been ruined or died as a result.
In that sense, it wouldn't be unreasonable to call the
former imperator a tyrant who ruled through fear. It was true that he had been
an able ruler and expanded the empire's power to an unprecedented extent, but
his methods had been self-righteous and severe — the very definition of
high-handed despotism. He drove out all who disagreed with him, however capable
or high-born they might be. Those who defied him, he suppressed without mercy. The
result was that only those who toadied up to the imperator remained, and his
tyranny kept picking up speed.
The citizens cowered in fear. Dissatisfaction was rife, but
no one had been willing to face the vast imperial family head-on.
A few years ago, the imperator had been taken by illness.
Everyone had expected the country to change, although no one had dared say it
out loud.
The people's faint hope had, however, been in vain. She, succeeding
to the throne at a young age, had become another tyrant like the former imperator.
In some ways she was even more autocratic. The people were even now cowering
and suffering under her tyrannical rule. Some of her ministers had mustered the
courage to remonstrate with her, but every one of them had met a tragic end.
Beneath its gilded surface, this nation had been ruled by
fear for a long time now. A look at the city would be enough for even a child
to see how dark a shadow it had cast on the people's hearts. There was fear on
the face of every resident who looked up at the palace. No one on the street would
speak the imperator's name. Everyone was painfully aware of the consequences a
careless remark could bring.
Naturally, more than a few had simply abandoned the country.
Many affluent nobles had sought asylum in other nations. Apparently even some
of the border guards had fled.
To be honest, I wasn't much of a patriot myself. I doubted
this tyranny could last forever. Ruin had to be on the way. When you can see
the ship sinking, the smart choice is to get out while you still can.
Nevertheless, I stayed. That was partly because of my
position as the eldest son of the Laureth family. More than that, however, it
was because the tyrant now ruling the empire was my—
"Halt."
The unexpected bark cut off my train of thought.
Looking around, I realized that I had arrived in the
audience chamber.
Case 5: Mercè
A Woman's Happiness
By REID
Translated from the Japanese by OtherSideofSky (http://othersideofskytranslations.blogspot.com/)
"You're stepping in too far, Elt."
Elt — one of my men — and I were sparring on the training
ground. It's high walls made it look somewhat like an arena.
My halberd parried and blocked Elt's thrusts. He moved just
a little too far forward every time he stepped in.
I swung my halberd down, aiming for Elt's right leg.
Adjusting my strength to his, of course.
Just before the halberd struck, Elt quickly drew back his
leg. He must have judged that he wouldn't be fast enough to block with his
spear. It was his best option. But... he was already in check.
Suddenly pulling his leg back threw him off balance. The
opening was fatal.
I shifted to a reverse grip and thrust the butt end of my
halberd at his unprotected throat, stopping just short.
"...I, I yield..." Elt declared, lowering his
spear. He sounded short of breath.
"Are you ever going to fix that bad habit?"
When thrusting with a spear, stepping in is vital. It's best
to step powerfully, but you can't let your gait be too wide. It creates a
bigger opening, and you'll get the overextended leg swept out from under you.
The key is to always put your weight, and force, into the strike smoothly and
quickly.
"I try, but as soon as I forget to focus on it... I end
up doing it again before I know it."
I'm sure Elt knew that as well as I did, but bad habits
don't change just because you're aware of them. He was capable of suppressing
the habit and moving properly when he had room to pay attention to it. That's
the sort of person he was.
Of course, when he was sparring with me, or in actual
combat, he wouldn't have that room to think.
"It looks like you really will just have to force your
body to adapt."
It was the natural conclusion. He would repeat the correct
movements until his body could make them without thinking.
"I guess that is what it comes down to..." Elt
answered. He looked exhausted. He must have become painfully aware that even
once you know the trick, there are no real shortcuts to mastering it.
"You've just got to do it; I did too.
"Now, let's call it here for today... and go for
drinks! My treat, of course," I announced, stabbing my halberd into the
ground and leaning my weight on it.
This was independent training outside of normal hours. I
didn't force him, but as a general rule, Elt kept going until I stopped.
"Thank you very much for the offer, Mercè...
But please, just let me take... a quick breather..." Elt answered. He
walked over to the wall of the training ground and sat down, leaning against
it.
He's gotten a lot
tougher than he was as a new recruit... but he still has room for improvement.
Still, working this late shows he's got more guts than most of the others.
"Guess I've got no choice... I'll go get changed first
and wait for you."
He worked hard today;
he's earned a quick break. Besides, he always nags me about changing in front
of him. I've told him not to worry about it — I've told him not to treat me
like a woman — but it seems like he just can't help it.
I walked off, leaving Elt sitting on the ground behind me.
◊ ♦ ◊ ♦ ◊
"Well, cheers."
We ended up at a familiar bar. It was the kind of place
where men get together for a drink after they finish work for the day. I could
see men who looked like mercenaries and adventurers, so we didn't stick out,
stopping in on our way back from training. It was a little noisy, but that just
made me feel more at home. I was also glad that there weren't many women
patrons.
On the counter in front of me were a few snacks and a
tankard of ale. With the hustle and bustle behind me, I gripped the tankard and
lifted it slightly.
"Cheers," Elt answered, calmly raising his own
tankard to his lips. He looked lively, considering how exhausted he'd been at
the training ground. That must have been one of the fruits of his daily
regimen.
"It's my treat, so don't hold back."
Elt sipped his drink slowly, tossing the occasional snack
into his mouth. That was how he always drink, and I knew it, but I couldn't
help prodding him.
"You always say that, Mercè... Please try not to drink
too much. It's my shoulder you'll be leaning on if you do," Elt nagged
back with a wry smile. He didn't mind as much as he let on; that's the kind of
guy he was.
"True, I'm always getting drunk and hanging off you,
and you end up taking care of me when it's really bad... But I always treat
you, so we're square, right?"
I'm the one who trains you and pays for our drinks; you
don't get to complain. Of course... drinking with you does taste better than
drinking alone.
"Ha ha... When you put it that why, I guess I've got no
right to complain."
"Man... A drink after training really hits the spot."
I tipped my tankard and poured ale down my throat.
The rich aroma, the sweet taste of malt, and the bitter
flavor of gruit. I could never get enough of the way it tingled on my tongue.
The scent wafted up to stimulate my nose as the ale wet my parched throat. By
the time I lowered the tankard, it was half empty.
"Ha ha... As always, you can really down it."
Elt flashed me a grin.
I'm glad you're
enjoying yourself; you should always have fun while you drink.
Suddenly, I felt eyes on me from the opposite side as Elt's
seat. When I turned to look, my gaze met that of a woman sitting a little ways
away. It looked like she'd been staring at my eye patch. She looked away as
soon as our eyes met.
...Honestly, talk
about rude, I thought and turned back to my tankard. That was all.
I used to really mind looks like that. I'd get so mad about
them I couldn't stand it. They were nothing to me now; I could stay calm, even
when my eye patch was getting odd looks.
I thought back to the events of a certain day.
◊ ♦ ◊ ♦ ◊
The two of us had remained on the parade ground, as usual.
We were in the middle of sparring.
"Ngh... That
was a good o—"
Elt launched a powerful thrust. He kept his hips low and his
center of gravity steady. It was a model strike.
I tilted my head and avoided it by a hair's breadth. Then,
as I began to compliment him on the thrust, my eye patch fell off.
His thrust hadn't nicked it; I just hadn't noticed it was
loose. It had slipped when I moved my head to dodge. Not that it mattered.
Half-reflexively, I raised a hand to cover my ruined right
eye. It was a mark of that woman's abuse — a symbol of my hated past. How could
I not be afraid to reveal it?
"...Mercè?"
Elt froze, then walked over and looked me in the eye. His
expression, and his gaze, said that he was genuinely concerned for me.
"...I, I'm fine," I replied, half-heartedly. I had
a feeling that looking into Elt's eyes helped me regain a little of my
composure. Then his face left my view.
"...Here."
Elt bent down, picked up the eye patch, and handed it to me.
It was a natural gesture; there was nothing awkward about it. He didn't stare
at my hidden wound, and he didn't look away uneasily, either. He wasn't put
off, and he didn't pry.
"Thank you... Sorry you had to see something so
ugly."
I turned my face away from him and quickly put on the eye
patch he handed me.
My hideous, ruined eye couldn't be a pleasant sight for Elt,
either. The thought filled my chest with something like anxiety.
"Not at all."
He looked kind. His expression seemed to sweep away my
worries. It made me believe his words.
"I see... Do you mind if I tell you something? It won't
take long."
I ended up wanting to confide in him. Just a little. I knew
that what I had to say would only trouble him, I knew I should have kept quiet,
but I couldn't stop myself from blurting it out.
I was sure that Elt would listen. I was closer to him than
to anyone else and I trusted him more than anyone else. That was why I wanted
him to know about my past. I suppose it was a kind of emotional dependence.
"Go right ahead. Some things are easier to deal with
when you talk about them," Elt answered. His gaze was sincere.
I was sure that he was concerned about me as a person, not
as one of my men. I ended up believing that he would accept my weakness.
"...When I was a kid, my mother abused me. My father
pretended not to notice."
The dark past I'd never talked about to anyone.
I felt some of my self-control relax. Maybe it was because I
was in front of Elt. Either way, as I went back over my past, I felt my tears
threatening to overflow.
If I cried, I was sure I would feminine. I couldn't bear
anyone — even Elt — seeing me like that.
"In the end... she left me with this wound, and left us
for another man. My father was a good man, but after that, anxiety destroyed
him, and..."
I faltered, but once I'd started speaking, the words refused
to stop. It was like a dam had burst. I wanted Elt to know my past. I wanted to
make my heart just a little less heavy by telling him.
In the end, I ended up giving him just the outline of what
had happened to me. I didn't go into detail for fear of crying. I couldn't even
bring myself to say that it had been hard, or that it had hurt.
"...Sorry for bothering you with a depressing story
like this."
"Do you feel any better?" Elt — who had listened
in silence up to that point — ask when I tried to cut off cut off my
reminiscence before I said any more. The way he said it, it sounded like he was
implicitly asking if I'd said all I needed. I'm sure he really wanted to do as
much as he could. He really was kind.
"...Yeah."
There were still some things I'd left unsaid, but, thanks to
Elt, the load on my chest felt a little lighter. It was enough. It wouldn't be
right to make him worry any more than I already had.
"Then I'm glad.
"It might not be any comfort... but as far I'm
concerned, you are who you are. So... please, don't drive yourself into a
corner. Don't try to hold too much in. I'm not strong like you are, Mercè,
but... if you need someone to talk to, I can at least listen."
Elt stared at me with kind, strong eyes.
I was who I was... It was a worn-out saying, but Elt's gaze,
and his expression, gave it the ring of truth.
"I guess... you're right. I do feel better. Thanks,
Elt."
I was sure that Elt wouldn't mind my past. It wasn't that he
wouldn't care about it; he would share my pain, almost like it had happened to
him.
And he was telling me that it was alright for me to rely on
him more. I'd only let out a little this time, but when it got really bad, Elt
would be there. That did a lot more to make me feel better than telling him
about my past had.
Before I knew it, Elt had become my emotional support.
◊ ♦ ◊ ♦ ◊
-
A Hill Where Love Grows
By Strange
Translated from the Japanese by OtherSideofSky (othersideofskytranslations.blogspot.com)
The eyelid-piercing light of morning shook him awake.
Sunshine poured down into the room out of the blue sky
without regard for the thin curtains, dispelling the dark. Outside the window,
birds chirped their joy at the beginning of a new day.
Inside the room, however, it was still cool. Possibly some
of the night air still lingered there. It was well past dawn, but still early.
Most of the townsfolk would still be in dreamland. And while some might be
awake, hardly any could be properly active yet. It's just that hard to overcome
one's attachment to a warm blanket.
It was no different for this young man, lying here in his
bed. He stirred under the sheets and let out a groan. He was awake, but his
eyes were still closed. He groaned again, and pulled the covers over his head,
like an insect that hates the bright sunlight. Once his head was covered, a
warm softness enveloped his body. The young man let out a contented sigh, and
abandoned himself to the bed once more.
His cheeks slackened with contentment as he let himself
doze. He felt something springy, yet soft and gentle, pressed against them. It
was giving him peace, tempting him into a deep slumber. He felt like he was
falling forever, but there was no unease. On the contrary, he felt safe and
secure. Just as the young man was about to fall completely back to sleep,
however, an odd sound reached his ears. It sounded like someone breathing
deeply in their sleep.
It was puzzling. A doubt emerged in a corner of his brain
and began to grow, pushing aside his drowsiness. At the same time, a sense that
something was out of place — which he hadn't minded earlier — came to the
forefront. He was lying face up, so his pillow ought to be under his head, but
this springy fluffiness was on either side of it. And he was sure his usual
pillow wasn't this big.
"And was that cheap pillow ever this soft?" he
muttered, shifting his head. As he did so, the odd sound came again. The doubt
continued to grow.
Wait a minute. I feel
like I remember hearing that sound somewhere be...
"Ah!"
Before the young man's waking mind could come up with an
answer, something lukewarm brushed his cheek. He let out a cry of surprise, but
whatever it was didn't seem to mind; it came back for another pass. For a
moment he panicked, but he soon realized that there was nothing hostile about
the way it touched him, and regained some composure. Besides, he had a feeling
that he remembered the soft touch on his skin, as well as the sound.
"...Of course."
The young man slowly let out his breath, relaxed his mind,
and opened his eyes. All the tension went out of his body; he felt foolish for
having felt it in the first place. In front of his eyes, so close that their
noses were almost touching, was the face of a girl happily rubbing her cheek
against his.
He sighed, and looked at the girl lying beside him. Shut
eyes adorned with long lashes, softly curved cheeks, a slightly downturned nose
and a little mouth. She was breathing peacefully in her sleep. The description
"truly adorable" fit her perfectly.
The girl's most notable, however, was her hair, and the wool
that covered her body, shining pale gold in the sunlight. A pair of large,
curled, sectional horns emerged from amid her hair. The ears that peeked out of
it were, likewise, shaped just like those of a sheep.
"...Merry. I knew it."
"Merry" was the name of the sleeping girl snuggled
up beside him. She was another of the house's residents. As her appearance
suggested, she was not a human, but a beastman with the characteristics of a
sheep — a type of monster known as a weresheep.
"What am I supposed to do with you, sneaking into other
people's beds practically every morning? Honestly..."
The young man stared at Merry with a look of resignation,
and prodded her cheek. The weresheep girl twitched her ears at that, and let
out a little moan, but she showed no sign of waking up. Deep sleeping was
another weresheep characteristic. They were always, and once they did fall
asleep, they didn't wake easily. It was partly due to the sleep magic in their
wool.
"At least it looks like she's having a nice
dream."
"Ehehe... More..." Merry muttered in her sleep, as
if in answer to the young man's words. She rubbed his cheek again, still
wearing a blissful look on her face. Then, as if to say that that wasn't
enough, she rubbed her whole body against his, and held on tight. The bed was
narrow, so, naturally, they ended up pressed close against each other. The
young man felt the pressure of two bulges, which asserted themselves in spite
of their fluffy covering. His cheeks reddened. The touch of Merry's full
breasts made him wonder vaguely if this was what was meant by "sleep makes
a child grow."
Be that as it may, he couldn't stay like this forever. If he
didn't get up soon, it would get in the way of his work on the farm. He'd gone
to the trouble of waking up early, so he wanted to avoid wasting time.
"I want to, but as things are..." The young man
muttered, unable to extricate himself from the tight embrace. He let out
another sigh.
"Mmm... You got me..."
Merry was a sleepyhead at the best of times. It would be a
while yet before she woke up. Besides, when he saw her looking so happy, he
couldn't help feeling that waking her would be a bit of a shame. Of course,
part of that was also his desire to enjoy more of the comfort of her touch. The
young man was briefly at Merry's mercy, agonizing over what to do, but not
actually doing anything. It was then that another doubt suddenly rose in the
back of his mind.
"Come to think of it, Merry being here means..."
He started to wonder aloud to himself. At almost the same time, another sound —
not from Merry — came from right by his ear.
"Mmm..."
"...Of course."
Even that little sound was enough to make him half certain. Quietly
prying loose Merry's clinging limbs, the young man slowly turned his head to
look at the side the voice had come from. He saw what he had expected to see. A
bit of wry humor crept into his voice.
"I see you're here too, Rico."
Next to him, on the opposite side from Merry, was the face
of a girl puffing up her cheeks and glaring at him reproachfully. Rico. She was
cute in spite of her expression, but it only took a glance to see that she
wasn't human. Like Merry, she was a monster. To be more precise, this girl
called Rico was a monster with the characteristics of a cow called a holstaur.
The most visible proofs were the furry ears — patterned with black spots on a
white ground — peeking through her hair, and the little, pale-yellow horns that
parted her short bob. Incidentally, her breasts, although they were currently
hidden from sight by the covers, were even larger than Merry's. That was
another characteristic of the holstaur species.
...They sure are
something.
The young man remembered the times he'd touched them, and
his face grew even redder. Rico, meanwhile, was making no attempt to hide her
displeasure as she stared at the young man. He stared back, but It made him
feel just a little uncomfortable.
"Don't glare like that."
"Moo~"
The drooping jade-green eyes beneath her characteristically
white-and-black hair wavered. There was something gentle about her features
that reassured anyone who saw her. Now, however, there were faint tears
pricking in the corners of her eyes, and the corners of her lovely mouth
downturned in a frown.
"B, but..." Rico muttered, pouting. She was
normally as calm and gentle as she looked, but her expression tended to get
serious when it came to this young man. Especially when Merry was involved.
Apparently she felt something like jealousy toward the weresheep, who, despite
being a latecomer to the household, was always snatching the best moments for
herself.
"Oh, don't cry first thing in the morning. Come
on."
The young man roughly scratched his own head, then gently
brushed Rico's tears.
"Ah... Ehehe."
Rico seemed taken aback for an instant, but soon she smiled.
The effect was like a flower blooming.
"Hey," she wheedled, "do you mind if I hug
you?"
"Sure. Go ahead."
"Yay~!"
No sooner had the young man given his permission than she
squirmed up to him under the blanket, and wrapped her arms and legs around him.
She was now squeezing him for the opposite side as Merry.
"Honestly. Talk about calculating. A certain somebody
who was crying a moment ago is all smiles now."
"Tee hee hee."
Rico disregarded the young man's exasperation, and squeezed
even tighter. Her tail was almost certainly wagging under the covers.
"Mmm... I just can't get enough of this."
Rico wriggled herself even closer. Her body heat reached him
even through her clothes and fur. It was a comfortable warmth, in a different
sense from the warmth of the blanket.
On the other hand, the young man could feel his face rapidly
reddening. The barely-contained teats Rico was shoving against him were the
cause. The sensation of her springy breasts pressing on him gave him almost
violent pleasure. He was in danger of losing his reason. In fact, any normal
man would embrace his primitive instincts in the face of that.
"I get it, but..." The young man muttered, feeling
the ample chest that could almost be called the proof of a holstaur's identity.
I see. Her milk must
be so delicious because it comes from these breasts, the young man thought,
half avoiding reality. Just then, something soft pressed against his back. The
sensation resembled Rico's breasts, but it was subtly different.
He turned his head to look, wondering, and there was Merry,
cuddled up against him. Unusually for the lackadaisical weresheep, her
expression was pouty. Merry glared at the young man, making a soft noise like a
fretting infant. Apparently she'd sensed the other two flirting, and woken up.
A shade of reproach could be seen in her now-open eyes.
"Just Rico's no fair! Me too! Me too!" Merry
demanded, pouting, and hugged the young man as well. Soft wool enveloped him,
and weresheep man soaked his body, lulling him to sleep. A sense of comfort
filled him, like, and yet unlike, the one Rico gave him.
"Hey! No cheating! Just look at me, dear."
Rico, seeing the young man's eyelids droop, put a hand on
his cheek, and gently turned his face back toward her. His eyes widened in
surprise as she smiled, and pressed her lips to his cheek.
"Hey! I want a lick too."
Merry, who had been forced to watch the scene at close
quarters, reacted fiecely.
"No. Kissing is just for me," Rico declared. She
hugged the young man's head, and busied herself intently running her tongue
over his cheek.
"Mmm... Dear, you're so... mph... tasty."
Rico stared at Merry as she announced triumphantly, her
cheeks flushed. Merry, in contrast, stared back with a mixture of jealousy and
just a little vexation on her face.
"Oh... Fine then!" Merry muttered. She had been
watched what Rico was doing for a little while, but now released her hold on
the young man, and slipped under the covers as well.
"What?"
The young man wasn't sure what Merry intended to do, but he
soon found out. Once Merry had wormed her way in under the covers, she pulled
down his pyjama pants.
"Hey, wait! What do you think you're doing,
Merry?"
"Huh?"
Rico broke off her kisses at the young man's sudden panic.
"Wait, you can't... Hey!"
Merry, however, would not hear his call for restraint, and
shoved her hand further into his underclothes. He soon found himself
remorselessly stripped of his underpants as well. The young man frowned with
the unease and embarrassment of being half naked, even under the blankets. He
soon guessed her aim, however, and opened his mouth to shout that it was out of
the question.
"You can't be... Wait! Stop tha... Oo...!"
Well this is a hard choice, I want merce'sone because it WILL have monsterization and thats the part i like the most, but The Imperator Doesn't Sleep just seems so good and it could have monsterization
ReplyDeleteThe Imperator Doesn't Sleep really sounds super interesting, but I know the Fallen Brides will win. Maybe limit the Fallen Brides to every other poll so there can be some equal love to the stories? Just a minor suggestion.
ReplyDeleteI liked both Fallen Brides and The Imperator Doesn't Sleep but I'm leaning towards the latter. But I know the former is more popular so either way I get to read something good. XD
ReplyDeleteFirst of all Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays, Sky. Go take some well-earned time off on vacation :) I appreciate your commitment to your schedule even during the holidays, which I think nobody would blame you for if you were late in updates.
ReplyDeleteAs for the stories, I would've preferred Francisca over Mercè for the Fallen Brides sample, to be honest. Also, I noticed the current drafts for 'A Hill Where Love Grows' hasn't been updated with the previous corrections I pointed out. Is this intended? I haven't gone back to cross-check Koyoi's story, but I did notice in the last update you posted for her, many of the typos were pre-existing ones I had pointed out before. The text cut/break also isn't working properly, but continues to load the story in the main page of the blog.
As for my preference, the 'Imperator' story has got me hooked over Mercè and the World Guide 2 story just from the sample. Unfortunately, it seems the popularity of Fallen Brides far exceeds that of the new stories. I won't argue against that, however, I feel rather weary of reading more of Elt right now.
The following is 'Ye Olde Typo Thread':
DeleteA Hill Where Love Grows:
The young man let out a contented sigh, and abandoned himself to the bed once more.
Grammar: Unnecessary comma in a compound predicate after 'sigh', causing the pause to sound awkward.
The young man stared at Merry with a look of resignation, and prodded her cheek.
Grammar: Unnecessary comma in a compound predicate after 'resignation', causing the pause to sound awkward.
Then, as if to say that that wasn't enough, she rubbed her whole body against his, and held on tight.
Grammar: Unnecessary comma in a compound predicate after 'his', causing the pause to sound awkward.
Now, however, there were faint tears pricking in the corners of her eyes, and the corners of her lovely mouth downturned in a frown.
Grammar: Unnecessary comma in a compound object after 'eyes'.
Apparently she felt something like jealousy toward the weresheep
Typo: Missing a comma after the introductory phrase 'Apparently'.
Rico disregarded the young man's exasperation, and squeezed even tighter.
Grammar: Unnecessary comma in a compound predicate after 'exasperation'.
Apparently she'd sensed the other two flirting
Typo: Missing a comma after the introductory phrase 'Apparently'.
who had been forced to watch the scene at close quarters, reacted fiecely.
Typo: 'fiercely' not 'fiecely'.
She hugged the young man's head, and busied herself intently running her tongue over his cheek.
Grammar: Unnecessary comma in a compound predicate after 'head', causing the pause to sound awkward.
----------------------------------------------------------
Mercè:
That was how he always drink
Typo: drunk/drank instead of 'drink'.
When you put it that why
Typo: 'that way' not 'that why'.
and the bitter flavor of gruit
Typo: Did you mean 'fruit' instead of 'gruit'?
from the opposite side as Elt's seat
Typo: 'of' not 'as' Elt's seat.
as I went back over my past
Wording: 'looked back over/on my past' flows better than 'went back' as if going back through time.
she left me with this wound, and left us for another man.
Grammar: Unnecessary comma in a compound predicate after 'wound'.
I was sure I would feminine
Typo: would (look) feminine.
ask when I tried to cut off cut off my reminiscence
Typo: 'asked' instead of 'ask'.
Typo: Remove the repitition of 'cut off'.
I knew that what I had to say would only trouble him, I knew I should have kept quiet, but I couldn't stop myself from blurting it out.
Grammar: The punctuation in this sentence breaks the sentence awkwardly. Consider using a semi-colon or a period to separate "I knew I should have kept quiet".
It was a worn-out saying, but Elt's gaze, and his expression, gave it the ring of truth.
Optional: I feel there's an unnecessary comma separating 'but Elt's gaze'. It would still flow well if it went:
"It was a worn-out saying but Elt's gaze, and his expression, gave it the ring of truth."
----------------------------------------------------------
The Imperator Doesn't Sleep:
With each jump her dress fluttered
Typo: Missing a comma after the introductory phrase 'With each jump'.
She put one hand on her hip, and pointed sternly at me with the other.
Grammar: Unnecessary comma in a compound predicate after 'hip'.
Yes sir. Excuse me, sir.
Typo: Missing a punctuation mark after the interjection 'Yes'.
Outside the window I could see an expanse of blue sky and the townscape illumined by the morning sun.
Typo: Missing a comma after the introductory phrase 'Outside the window'.
In some ways she was even more autocratic.
Typo: Missing a comma after the introductory phrase 'In some ways'.
Apparently even some of the border guards had fled.
Typo: Missing a comma after the introductory phrase 'Apparently'.
As always, thank you for your help. Proofreading can be very time-consuming for me because my eyes have trouble keeping track of text on back-lit screens, so I always have trouble finding time to go back and do it.
Delete'A Hill Where Loves Grows' still has the old errors because I fixed them in my manuscript, but never got around to updating the Pastebin because I'd been hoping to add another page or so to it. Sorry about that.
I'll have to go back through and check Koyoi's when I have time. I thought I'd gotten everything you pointed out (except for a few "had had"s that were deliberately in the past perfect).
And yes, I probably will just leave Fallen Brides off the next poll, although part of me also wants to just finish it and get it out of the way.
I just want merce because she is my favorite of the brides. Then maybe francisca. But after merce I'm pretty much fine with whatever.
ReplyDeleteI actually want to read imperator don't sleep but after looking at the pool,it was impossible so I just click Merce story.my suggestion is you should give fallen bride story a break from the poll after the story is chosen.it is not like I hate it, in fact I love it.it just I want to read something new
ReplyDelete