Here's another weekly update. It's a bit late in the day, but it's 3,000+ words to make up for it.
Other than that, there's not much to say, except that I now have an official English copy of the encyclopedia, and have elected to follow its translations of key terms for the sake of clarity. (In practice, this really just means that "Dark Lord" becomes "Overlord.")
Thank you to Dan for continuing to point out typos and other errors.
See you all again with another update next Wednesday.
(Text after the cut.)
Tasogare probably wanted to escape from the
prison called Amanomiya.
For the first time in
her life, Koyoi had witnessed the moment a human was corrupted by a monster.
Checking the spread of corruption and monsterization was one of a monster
slayer's jobs. As a result, while she had seen humans who had already been
corrupted, she had never seen the process.
Doon, her mentor, had
fallen to the resurrection of his deceased wife. Koyoi had never seen anyone
with a will as strong as his. And he had been corrupted in an instant.
Her teeth were still
chattering with fear. In her heart of hearts, however, a longing toward
corruption that was hard to resist had begun to appear.
Is this how Tasogare felt before she ran away?
After all this time,
she was feeling sympathy for the younger sister she had not seen in years.
When Koyoi extricated
herself from the vortex of her thoughts, the gigantic castle gate had come into
view. Massive and made of metal, it was so large that an ordinary house could
pass through it without getting stuck. One look at it made Lescatié's enduring strength obvious.
"When did
I...?" She muttered. She had obeyed Doon and fled from the cemetery, but
she did not remember which way she had run.
The castle gate gaped
open. It had abandoned its duty.
Koyoi gulped audibly.
She felt the air charged with violet mana, thick and thin, whispering to her to
enter. The fear she had suppressed gradually rose again inside her. The root of
the vast mana infesting Lescatié was inside. She must be an order of magnitude
stronger than Finé. Koyoi felt certain that she could not win alone.
But...
She looked around her,
but she could not see an enemy, let alone an ally. She could only hear sounds.
Close sounds from the other side of the ramparts; distant ones from here and
there in the residential areas. The voices of tens, hundreds of pairs of men
and women crying out their love.
"Aaaahh..."
An especially loud,
carnal cry in a woman's voice shook Koyoi's eardrums.
"Come on, just a
little more, and you can get free of what's holding you down. That's it."
A different woman's
voice. As soon as she heard it, Koyoi felt a chill run down her spine, making
the hairs stand on end. And yet, it was certainly not unpleasant. Quite the
opposite, in fact.
What is this sensation?
Koyoi was bewildered.
It was as if her brain had been directly stimulated. It was the emotion called
lust. No one who had experienced it before would ever mistake it. She, however,
had spent her time in Zipangu training day in and day out, and since coming to
this continent she had devoted herself to her work for the adventurers' guild.
Her knowledge of sex was extremely limited. She did, however, know a way to
cope with that sensation.
It's because mana is trying to enter my body.
So, if I do this...
She took a talisman
from her pocket. A new one, with nothing written on it. She held it between her
middle and index fingers, and brought it to her mouth. She whispered words into
the talisman that did not belong to Zipangu, or to this continent, or to
anywhere in this world. Her voice was so faint that it was impossible to hear
anything other than that she was whispering. She did not know who was on the
other side of the ramparts, but the voice of a woman who still had her reason
could only belong to an enemy.
As her incantation
rustled the talisman, deep black characters were being traced upon it. When
Koyoi's lips stopped moving, the talisman was full from top to bottom with
writing. She loosened her sash, and opened the front of her tightly-shut
garment.
She let out a short
gasp. The intense mana directly touching her skin made the irritating sensation
even stronger. She affixed the talisman in her hand to the spot without a
moment's delay.
The writing on the
talisman glowed faintly, spreading from her belly to permeate her entire body.
She let out a sigh. The dangerous sensation was quickly suppressed, and her
thoughts grew cool. She flashed a faint smile at her success, but there was not
much strength in it.
This is no better than water on a hot stone.
Still...
The area was devoid of
allies. That meant that the only one currently capable of fighting the ringleader — who
was presumably inside the castle — was herself. She took deep breaths, and
somehow managed to calm her heart beat, which had risen with fear and stress. Keeping
her knees from trembling, Koyoi stepped over the threshold of the castle gate.
Everything around you
is meaningless noise and distractions! Concentrate; you have to look into the
castle.
She repeated the
breathing techniques for refining mana that she had performed every day until
she could no longer stand it when she had been in Zipangu. She was conscious of
the sensation of the air she breathed in, wreathed in mana, building up in the
point just below her belly button where she had just affixed the talisman. The
mana remained in her body, and she breathed out only the air.
The Amanomiya clan had
learned, through long years of training and research, that women's ability to
generate mana within themselves was less than men's. And that, conversely, women
were more proficient than men at absorbing mana from outside themselves.
As I thought, the quantity and quality of mana
here is on another level.
She sensed that the
mana flowing into her was amassing an order of magnitude higher than usual, and
with an order of magnitude less waste. Still, it was so dense that even an
untrained commoner could see its color with their naked eyes. She did not know
that drawing in mana from outside herself here in Lescatié, which was blanketed in the
stuff, would backfire. The point below her navel where she was storing that
mana was used in meditation. It was also her womb.
"Come now,
surrender yourself to pleasure."
She walked along a
well-maintained, milky-white gravel path. This was the enemy's stronghold;
there was no telling when she would be attacked. She would have to proceed
quickly, but also stealthily.
Talismans imbued with
sound-dampening magic were affixed between the two wooden teeth of Koyoi's
geta. She sent a small portion of the mana stored behind her navel down her
legs to them. The writing on the talismans flashed white for an instant, and
the sounds of her steps on the gravel completely disappeared.
"That's right. That's
the way to release the chains around your heart. Once you've done that, you can
be free."
Free.
Her mind, cleared by
meditation, became suddenly disturbed. Every time Koyoi heard the woman's
voice, it disarranged her thoughts.
"Your head's
buzzing, and your bottom feels itchy, right? Right now, your heart is trying to
break free of the heavy burden of humanity."
Burden.
Koyoi thought back.
Her own life had been nothing but burdens. The burden of being Amanomiya. The
burden of being in line to become head of the clan. Burdens heaped on her from
all sides. And, as if to match their weight, she had kept as quiet as a stone.
"Your eyes still
look a little frightened. It's alright. All a monster has to do is be with a
man she likes. She doesn't need anything else. A world just for two."
A man?
She had almost no
direct experience of the opposite sex. She had her older and younger sisters,
and since she was very young she had spent her days cooped up in the mountains,
enduring her grandfather's harsh training. Apparently her betrothal had been
decided in her infancy, but she did not know the face, the voice, or even the
name of her fiance. After Tōtetsu's passing, the faction of her relatives
that had schemed to make her head of the clan had scrutinized her life day and
night. She had not even been able to go outside as she pleased.
Doon's face rose in
her mind.
He was... different, she decided. She had not seen Doon as an
object of romantic love. When he had fallen to Finé, she had felt frustrated
that she had not been able to protect him from the monster, but also, for some
reason, that everything had fit perfectly into place. Things had returned to
the way they ought to be. Nothing could be more fitting.
"Now, call your
beloved's name."
"Aah, ah,
Bunkichi, Bunkichi...."
Koyoi stopped in her
tracks. Eyes wide with shock, she turned her head in the direction the voice
had come from.
To her right, on the
other side of the hedges planted so as to line the gravel path that stretched
from the castle gate, was a channel about twice as wide as she was tall. Beyond
that was a garden. In its center were three figures.
One was a monster. She
wore a reddish-purple garment that liberally exposed the pale purple skin of
her breasts, belly, and thighs. Her hair was long and pale. A pair of wings and
a tail, the same shade as her hair, sprouted from just above her equally
exposed buttocks. Black and red eyes. Pointed ears. Horns on her head.
One was a man. He wore
a black robe, in the style of Zipangu, but his sash was undone, and his belly
exposed to the outside air. Beside him lay a pair of straw sandals, presumably
his. Occasional shudders shook his lower body, on which he wore nothing but
socks. Relaxation and tension alternated on his face.
The last was a woman. Her
robe was orange, and also in the Zipanguese style. She was straddling the man's
crotch, and pumping her hips up and down. Her face was flushed, and her eyes
vacant. Saliva dripped from her slovenly opened mouth. Her lovely hair was cut
short, for a woman. From it sprouted the ears of an animal, the same orange as
her kimono.
Koyoi recognized them,
except for the monster. She could not forget the pair that not only she, but
her entire extended family, had been trying to find for years.
"Tasogare!"
Concentrating mana
into her lower body, Koyoi leapt. She crossed the hedges and the channel in a
single bound, tracks of purplish red light trailing behind her geta.
Why? What is Tasogare doing in a place like
this?
Her head was full of
question marks. She rushed to Tasogare without knowing what she was doing.
The monster glanced at
the ghastly look on Koyoi's face, but quickly returned her attention to
Tasogare. An instant later, there was a sound like something bouncing off a
wall, and Koyoi froze.
This is the same as in the cemetery!
A pale violet sphere,
about six meters in diameter, was spread around the trio. That was what had
stopped Koyoi. No sooner had she realized that than she sensed that the monster
in front of her was the very enemy she had come to defeat — the enemy leader.
This monster created a barrier like this
instantly, without any incantations or tools...
She took a step back
from the wall, and drew several talismans from a pocket. Seeing that, the
monster suddenly smiled.
"You're really something,
making it this far safely."
She shot Koyoi a
sidelong glance. On the other side, the monster stroked Tasogare's head with
her left hand. Tasogare narrowed her eyes and made a delighted purring noise in
her throat.
The monster was
touching her sister. Koyoi bared her teeth in open hostility.
"Tee hee hee.
This girl must mean a lot to you."
Koyoi's face would
likely have terrified an ordinary monster to the point that they were covered
in gooseflesh, but the monster did not even change her expression. Still
smiling, she watched Koyoi affectionately.
"I have a feeling
that this won't be the end of our relationship."
The monster flashed
her teeth in a smile, and raised the index finger of her right hand, as if she
had just had an idea.
"Why don't we introduce
ourselves?"
The monster's
pleasantries stuck out like a sore thumb. Koyoi's expression grew increasingly
severe.
"I'll do no such
thing!"
"My name is
Deruella."
Deruella went on
introducing herself as if she could not hear Koyoi.
"A daughter of
the Overlord, and the ringleader behind what's happened to Lescatié."
All expression
vanished from Koyoi's face. Concentrating on circulating the mana accumulated
in her belly throughout her body did not allow her the luxury of forming one.
"Impressive."
Deruella watched the
shining mana circulate. Lines of light flowed efficiently to the ends of her
limbs, and thence to the talismans she held in her hands. Aside from Koyoi, she
had seen only one human capable of utilizing mana so skillfully. And that one
had already fallen into the domain of monsters, and seemed quite enchanted with
it.
I'm certain this girl will make a wonderful
monster.
At the thought of
Koyoi's future — squeezing essence from the man she loved, her face melting with
pleasure — Deruella experienced a love almost like a mother's for her child.
"Now, would you
please tell me your name?" Deruella asked, but Koyoi did not answer. She
was surveying the wall that separated her from Deruella, and from her sister,
in search of a spot where the mana was weak.
Shaping a vague, fluid
thing like mana into a wall meant that its thickness would necessarily become
unstable. Especially now, when it was possible to perceive the mana with her
naked eyes, it would be easily possible to judge the thickness of the barrier
by the concentration of color.
Before long, however,
Koyoi gave up.
This thing is already beyond questions of thick
or thin...
The quality of the
wall of mana Deruella had created was on another level from Finé's. In fact, it was probably
better described as a true sphere than as a wall. Koyoi realized that it was
constructed so that only the outer surface of the sphere was solid, but all the
space inside it was also filled with mana.
"Well, alright,"
Deruella sighed, "I'm sure we'll see each other again soon. Let's have a
nice, long talk then."
So saying, Deruella
removed her hand from Tasogare's head, and took a step backward.
"Wait! I won't
let you get away!"
Koyoi hurled three
talismans at Deruella, who had left the mana dome. They flew true at the
monster's eyes, heart, and feet, faster than the eye could catch. Every one of
them, however, was struck out of the air by Deruella's tail.
The talismans had been
so powerful that one touch of them would have paralyzed an ordinary monster
and brought them to their knees. The monster before Koyoi's eyes, however, had
made short work of them with just her tail.
"This is still
just the entrance, you know?"
Deruella spread her
wings, and her feet left the ground.
"Fighting in a
place like this just isn't exciting. I suppose this sort of thing really does
have to be done all the way inside," Deruella laughed obscenely, making a
circle with the fingers of her right hand, and passing her left index finger in
and out of it.
"Well then, I'll
be waiting for you in the throne room. Bye-bye."
Deruella leisurely
floated up, passed through the castle wall, and disappeared from sight. Koyoi
still clutched her talismans, but all she could do was grind her teeth in
frustration.
She turned her back to me, but she still never
left herself open...
"Ooh, ah."
Bunkichi, still
straddled by Tasogare, let out a cry that sounded like it had been wrung from
his throat. Koyoi turned her attention to him. He shuddered two or three times.
"Aaah. You came... You came for me..."
Tasogare whispered happily, and sighed with contentment.
The low rumble
emanating from her body grew louder. The part behind her hips swelled, and
something long and thin peeked out below the hem of her torn kimono. It was a
pair of orange and white-spotted tails. The two cat tails were growing as Koyoi
watched, like plants budding in the spring sunshine. They dragged up the hem of
Tasogare's kimono, exposing her lower body.
Koyoi instinctively
averted her eyes. Bunkichi's penis was lodged in Tasogare's vagina. Koyoi
lacked the knowledge to recognize it, but Bunkichi's testicles were twitching
up and down. A long, long ejaculation. Tasogare was using the rise and fall of
her hips and the wave-like contractions of her vagina to savor what leaked out
with each upward spasm.
When her tails had
finished growing, the transformation moved to her hands and feet. The same
pattern of white and orange spots as on her tail appeared on her arms below the
elbows, and her legs below the knees. Fur grew, covering the skin, which it
seemed to split. Her fingers fused into a lump, then rapidly metamorphosed into
fur-covered cat's paws.
"Aaah,
meooohh."
She raised her face,
and let out a caterwaul of joy.
Opening her eyelids,
Tasogare basked in the pink and purple-tinted rays of monster realm sunshine.
Her pupils, now vertical slits, contracted, reducing the amount of light that
entered her eyes. Then, for the first time, she realized that her elder sister
was just on the other side of the barrier.
"Sister...?"
A monster slayer must be merciless.
Koyoi recalled what
their grandfather had once told her.
Those fascinated by monsters will inevitably
cause harm to the humans close to them.
Koyoi grit her teeth.
A monster's fascination is a sickness.
"To treat
it..."
You must either isolate them, or dispose of
them.
She affixed a talisman
to her right palm, then spread the hand open and held it high over her head, as
if displaying it to the sky. The writing on the talisman shone. A moment later,
it turned to ash and spread into a sphere. Each particle of ash sucked in mana
from the surrounding air. The sphere glowed faintly violet, and expanded. When
its diameter was roughly equal to her height, the sphere's growth halted. Its
purple hue melted like heated glass, and formed into patterns.
This was the secret
culmination of Koyoi's skill — a technique for destroying a monster by slamming
a massive quantity of mana into them, and forcing their body to take in more
than it could absorb.
Tasogare took no
action; she just continued to stare at it. As she was also an Amanomiya, she
soon realized what her sister intended to do. But she said nothing. She neither
begged for her life, nor hurled curses. She only smiled, and shed tears. Understanding
everything, she smiled at her elder sister.
Hey Sky, thanks for another timely update. Posting them in bite-sizes like this is definitely easier for me to parse through and proofread for errors. Here are the ones I've found:
ReplyDelete- An especially loud, carnal cry in a woman's voice
Typo: Did you mean 'of a woman's voice'? 'in' doesn't really make sense.
- now was herself
Grammar: 'was now herself' is more accurate.
- Everything around you is meaningless noise and distractions! Concentrate; you have to look into the castle.
Error: This line should be in italicized since it's Koyoi's thoughts, if I'm not mistaken.
- scrutinized her live day and night
Typo: 'live' should be 'life'
- had been searching for for years
Grammar: Perhaps you could reword this line? 'for for years' could be written as 'for years now'
- At the thought of Koyoi's future squeezing essence from the man she loved
Error: This line needs a slight break or reworded. Adding a comma could work. 'At the thought of Koyoi's future(,) squeezing essence'
- Deruella experience a love
Typo: experience(d)
- who had luke the mana dome
Typo: Not sure what you meant by 'luke'
- paralyzed and ordinary monster
Typo: 'an' not 'and' ordinary monster
- passed through the castle wall
Error: Weird choice of words here. 'Passed through' sounds like she phased 'through' the wall. Since she was flying, could it be reworked into 'passed over'?
- The low rumble emanating from her body grew louder
Inconsistency: Found no previous mention of sounds coming from Tasogare's body, unless this was referring to the mana corrupting Koyoi? Though if it was referring to Koyoi, there was no mention of her noticing any sounds either.
- just on the other side of the wall
Inconsistency: Koyoi's thoughts have shown the wall is actually a sphere and it's been referred as a sphere afterwards so using 'wall' here is not accurate.
Here are my thoughts on the story so far:
The line 'liberally exposed the pale purple skin' has me a bit surprised as the colored illustration of Druella's profile shows her having white skin, albeit slightly tinted. I just find this sort of inconsistency unsettling since previous descriptions of Druella mention her as having white, porcelain-like skin (Wilmarina's story) and the profile of Lilim state that they have 'pale skin and pure white hair'.
This just reeks of the author using his own head-canon for the story, and I personally dislike it when it deviates from official canon. In my perspective, it's fine to imagine anything not officially confirmed but reworking even tiny details detracts from the authentic MGE vibe and puts it firmly within the AU fanfic category for me.
Also, I disliked reintroducing Tasogare in the story since it's all just too much of a coincidence. She runs away from Zipangu years ago and ends up in Lescatie to be monsterized by Druella herself just as Koyoi is about to storm the castle? That's a weak plot point to use, in my opinion.
However, I haven't read the rest of the story so there might be some reason why she was there when she was mentioned later. If there isn't... well none of the stories are actually canon if I'm to understand, but I expected better quality from the JP writers since they can read the source material directly.
That's all for now; many thanks again for doing this Sky and I'm looking forward for more. I'd also like to volunteer to proofread your translations, though I haven't gone back to re-read the older ones.
Thank you again.
DeleteThe "low rumble" is Tasogare purring. It was mentioned once earlier in the story.
And based on the verb used, it looks like Deruella did pass through a solid wall.
I genuinely have no idea how "left" turned into "luke."
As for strange coincidences, bear in mind that this is the story that introduced the idea that Doon had a dead wife on the same page that she reappears as an undead.
Almost all the Fallen Brides stories seem to be mutually exclusive, so I don't think anyone spent much time talking to each other about canon even within just this book. There's also some evidence that another pass of editing might have been beneficial, such as several spots in this story where "grandfather" is mistakenly given as "father" and one where "daughter" is written instead of "granddaughter." (The first could be a typo, but latter leads me to believe that a change was made at some point during the writing process.)
If I'm being perfectly honest, most of the MGE novels read like the work of people whose influences are largely limited to LNs, VNs, and manga, (the way grunts, sighs, and other minor sounds are written out, for instance doesn't occur in much else, even in genre fiction) and could probably do with a broader experience of literature.
Regarding Tasogare's purring, perhaps it would be more accurate to remove 'body' from the line? I found it misleading since the subject 'her body' implies it's involuntary.
ReplyDeleteIdk, might just be me but I didn't immediately realize it was referring to her purring since the last mention of that was much further up, before Druella left: 'The low rumble emanating from her body grew louder'
Strange, I didn't know Druella, lilim or non ghost-type monsters in general had the ability to pass through solid objects :o
To be honest, I was still able to suspend my disbelief regarding Doon's wife since there wasn't much background behind her. I could definitely imagine a realistic scenario where she died and was buried in Lescatie, so when Druella invaded, she was resurrected from the mamono mana.
However, Tasogare on the other hand had too many contrasting elements in her backstory to fit into the situation. It was ridiculous enough for me to notice and point it out.
I agree with your line of thought about 'daughter' being rewritten as 'granddaughter'. If Koyoi was only a generation apart from Totetsu it would be hard to fit in the narrative of the fight over succession of the clan.
Well, MGE itself is a doujin work so it's not surprising that the MGE novels are heavily influenced by the culture. I've gotten pretty used to the quirky and bizarre situations they come up with :P
Man! Did you really have to end with a cliffhanger?! It was getting really good too! Anyway, thanks for translating! :D
ReplyDeleteNot much of a cliffhanger, unfortunately. I can already predict what will happen: Koyoi realizes too late that she's using mamono mana to power her spell, so it backfires when it hits Tasogare, transforming or strengthening her instead of killing her.
DeleteBut then, I didn't come here for the realistic plot ;)
True, but I just really wanna know what happens next! Sure, these stories have a lot of focus on monster girl transformations and sex, but I'm really invested in the characters and plot too. :D
Delete