Here's the second installment of Wilmarina's story, plus several edits to the first part. This brings us up to about 7,000 words, and almost a quarter of the way through the novella.
There are some references to setting details like the Order and the Chief God this time around, and even one mention of monsters, but the story remains closer to Charles Dickens than any kind of fantasy erotica. That will be changing next time.
I think the characters of the aristocrats and officials must have been conceived in response to the question 'how can we possibly make Deruella look at least sort of maybe potentially positive.'
One thing to note with regards to the translation, the repeated scene transition I have rendered on this occasion as 'fade to black' more literally means 'the period of darkness in a theater when the lights go down so that sets can be changed' and carries the additional meaning of 'to take a turn for the worse.'
As always, this is still not even a first draft, so expect it to be rougher and less natural than a finished translation.
The update moved things forward pretty well and captured a lot of emotion, but I am eager to get to the more erotic elements as well.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, here's hoping you can squeeze out the next "beyond the end" translation soon too.
Wilmarina's story is the longest and also the one that spends the most time on things before the invasion, so it certainly does take a while to get to those bits, but rest assured that our narrator will be turning into a succubus in another 20 pages or so.
DeleteIt probably won't happen until after Valentine's Day for reasons that will become apparent in due time, but rest assured that I am working on it.